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Military foils wedding plans again!

With just under 9 months left until our wedding, my fiance is very sure that his deployment is going to be extended by 6 months. The orders for his unit have not come down yet, but allegedly will before the end of the month. If they do, unless we have a groom-less wedding, we are not getting married for at least 18 months. We always knew this would be a possibilty, but we thought it would be 3 months, not 6, so he will also be unable to be present on our back up date.

My more important/military-oriented question: How long should we wait once he gets back to get married? He will not be back until his deployment is over, so he will be having to adjust to the civilian world after 15 months without a break from the war. Originally, we were waiting only 3 months, but I think that would be too soon after having been gone for 18 months.

My general question: I was originally going to have a very Christmas-y wedding. Should I keep those ideas and have Christmas in not winter? Sell the (thankfully) few things I have purchased? Wait a full year from the intended date, which might not be a bad idea given the length of the deployment? What I like best about my reception venue is how it looks at Christmas, so I am bummed about that, but at this point the odessey to the altar I just don't care anymore!



*Hopefully* these concerns will wind up being irrelevant and we will be able to carry on with our December 28 plans!

x-posted.

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
lillielil
Apr. 5th, 2007 05:34 am (UTC)
Oh honey. That is so crappy.

I say have freakin' Christmas in July if that's what you want to do. After all the crap you have gone through for this wedding already, I think you've earned the right to do whatever you want. If things get totally crazy you can always have a small private ceremony (or do the courthouse thing) and then plan a big party for a year later when everything has calmed down... though I don't know if that would fly with y'all's families.
lunarophelia
Apr. 5th, 2007 06:25 am (UTC)
It is crappy. I cried all afternoon on Thursday and all day on Friday. It is a total suckfest, but it could be worse.

The only thing that would stink about christmas in not december is that the reception venue would not have up all the pretty christmas stuff. I might have a very confused wedding. Perhaps the theme could be "wedding dates, past and present" and I could add some of the original pinks and greens and yellows, through in a few springy and fall things, and top it off with christmas trees and gold bows.

If this next date which does not yet exist does not work out, I am just going to say screw it and dust off the ivy day or high school graduation dress and have an afternoon trip to Father Cahill. It probably wouldn't fly, but we will have waited long enough. Seeing each other only every 3-4 months and spending literally thousands of dollars on airfare each year for only a handful of visits.

I don't know what it will be, but we will work something out ultimately. Hopefully the people on the guest list will have enough notice to get to Houston, but if not, oh well! At least Greg and I will FINALLY be together.
notmargaret
Apr. 5th, 2007 12:31 pm (UTC)
I have no advice, I just wanted so say that that sucks and I'm sorry you have to deal wtih it :( You're being very calm about, I would be making lots of ranty posts right now!
lunarophelia
Apr. 5th, 2007 08:02 pm (UTC)
I knew there was a possibility it would happen, and since December 28 is actually our fifth attempt at a wedding date I am gettign used to the routine now. It's just a bummer because we were so hoping this date would be the one, and we actually told people outside of our immediate families. That's just the joy of military life I suppose!
brooklynmili
Apr. 5th, 2007 03:02 pm (UTC)
this sucks, dude. i'm really sorry.

whether or not you keep the xmas theme depends on how much xmas stuff you've already collected, and whether it's adaptable. but i like the attitude of 'wedding dates, past and present.'

and if it is meaningful to both of you to have a small ceremony asap, and then put off the big-deal-coping-with-other-people until after he's had more time to adjust to being home, i would totally do that. i think it's a good idea to budget some time for readjustment--from what i hear it's not an easy time.

keeping you both in my thoughts...
lunarophelia
Apr. 5th, 2007 07:59 pm (UTC)
It is adaptable I suppose, but red and gold just makes more sense for winter festivities than summer...but I doubt anyone will be critiquing the "look" of the event!

thanks for the thoughts. <3
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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